Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
it was like eating out sand paper
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Your cock deserves a montage
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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