ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
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