This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
