i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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