I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
