We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
