hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Quick, to the slutcave!
you traded sex for a burrito?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
