ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
so explain again why im purple
no
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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