Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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