I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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