i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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