we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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