once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
