you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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