Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
