I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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