not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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