Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
