The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize