Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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