They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
