with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I wish there were birth control emojis
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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