i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
