I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
