dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
