You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
no, he came in my armpit
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
