You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
