I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Watching her eat just hurts me
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
