Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
