Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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