I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize