Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
