you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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