I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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