at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize