Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I'm having to shit out rocks
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