Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Just fell off a train. Bad.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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