I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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