There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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