I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
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