sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
