This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
