i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
