I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
COCAINE IS GR8
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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