as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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