I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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