the condom got lost in my hair
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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