Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I think I died a long time ago.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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