Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
This is classic penis vs brain.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
