WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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