He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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