You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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