I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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