Me too!
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
