carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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