It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I cockslap morals
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
