9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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