Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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