You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
