I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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