Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
