I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
