My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
