I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
