i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Moan for me like Helen Keller
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
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