Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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