I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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